Blackberry blogging

I'm official now with the business snobs and techno geeks. I got a blackberry early last week and I'm slowing falling in love with my new phone.I remember the feeling I had with my tmobile mda and this is even better. I shouldn't be this excited about a phone but the fact I'm writing this blog from my blackberry is dope. Anyway, I'm actually on the clock. I picked up an extra shift. Peace.

The return of "New Rules"

Black by popular demand, it's time for the return of New Rules!


New Rule:
For the rest of 2009 the Hip Hop Nation remix of "My President Is Black" is the new negro national anthem. This is not a cheap shot at Republicans, just a new chapter in American History.

New rule:
We understand the rush on naming kids "Barack" or "Obama". That's what we do as black people, we find a phrase, word, or hot name and we run with it. But the first person to name their baby "Stimulus" is getting taken out into the street and beaten.

New rule:
If the Jonas brothers get on stage with one more soul or r & b legend, they get to take Justin Timberlake's place as the "cool white guy." I hated their music before but give them credit for rocking the stage with Stevie Wonder.

New rule:
Since George W. Bush is retarded, I mean retired. His first act should not be writting a book but learning how to read a book.

New rule:
All returning troops from war under the age of 21 should be allowed to drink. You take a bullet for your country you should be able to buy a beer in your country.

New rule:
The prosecuting attorneys from the R. Kelly trial are fired. All jokes aside, how much more evidence do you need to convict this guy.

New rule:
Their will be a new holiday, National Hater Day. This year we celebrate the work of Bill O'Reiley. Get ready to grab those ankles.

Me from A to Z 2009 Edition

Back in November of 2004 I did this survey. Lets see how I changed.

Me from A to Z 2009 Editionn

A - Age: I didn't get older, I got better.
B - Best Friend: My fiance'.
C - Choice of Meat: Shrimp.
D - Dream Date: Just about anything with the futrue Mrs. Welch.
E - Exciting Adventure: Getting engaged and soon to be married.
F - Favorite Food: Homemade eggrolls.
G - Greatest Accomplishment: Got some things, not ready to answer yet.
H - Happiest Day of Your Life: May 2nd 2008 when I got engaged.
I - Interests: Too many to name. But I love to read in my spare time.
J - Joke: I want some affection! It's an inside joke.
K - Kool-Aid: GRAPE! Is there any other?
L - Love: God, Amber, my family.
M - Most Valued possession: My peace of mind.
N - Name: Everett Douglas
O - Outfit You Love: Navy and white Ralph Lauren Polo shirt and Perry Ellis Jeans.
P - Pizza Toppings: Gyro meat, mushrooms, black olives.
Q - Question Asked To You the Most: How tall are you?
R - Radio Station: 93 WBLX and Hip Hop Nation on Sirius
S - Sport: Basketball, of course.
T - Television Show: The Boondocks.
U - Umbrella in the rain?: Yep. But it's fun to plan in the rain sometimes.
V - Video: Heartless - Kanye West.
W - Winter: Late spring early summer for me.
X - X-rays recently?: Chest.
Y - Year Born: 198something.
Z - Zodiac Sign: ARIES! The 1st sign.

HA!

My babe took and Uncle Jr. day today. I knew it was coming sooner or later. LOL!

amberandeverett.com

We've hit the world wide web as an engaged couple. We haven't gotten it set up yet but I will start working on it as soon as possible. But hopefully years from now it will still be available at www.amberandeverett.com, and our children and their children will be able to look back at a time when love was approaching full bloom.

It feels good.

It feels good when someone tells you they love you just because. It doesn't have to be a special occasion or out of routine. It's those simple unexpected moments when someone tells you they love you and seems to change your whole day around. About two o'clock today I was in the fast lane of a crappy day and I got a text message out of the blue from Amber that said "Hey babe, I just wanted to tell you that I love you and I hope you are having a good day." Well, I wasn't at the time but I was after that text. It feels great to love someone but even better when someone loves you back. I wish we had more moments like this but I treasure each moment like this one. It feels good.

Marriage Counseling...#8

"Conflict resolution" has to be the easiest phrase to say and the hardest thing to do. However, as we go through marriage counseling I see that conflict resolution might be the number one reason for divorce and not finances. Money can cause problems but if you don't know how to discuss the issues, then money wasn't the problem, it was the lack of communication about money. I'll be honest, I say that I'm easy to deal with in this department but truthfully I'm suffering from growing pains on this topic. I remember when there was a time I had no problem telling someone to shut the hell up and keep it moving. However, dealing with my fiance' I can not do or say those things anymore. Nothing really gets resolved from that type of behavior other than a bridge being burned behind you. I love her and respect her too much to talk to her in a negative tone. At times I feel like I've lost part of myself by scaling back on my aggressiveness but in actuality it's all about refining my energy in a more productive manner. Focused energy, I like that phrase. Either way, finding the happy medium is key. I'm working on it for the both of us.

No longer a baby

I love my cousin Geothany. In certain aspects she has been my big and little sister all at the same time. However, I realized today my baby G is no longer my baby G. She is now engaged to Bernard and I have to let her go and grow up. I remember when she and I were just run of the mill cousins but some harsh situations in our later teenage years brought us together to be great friends and have a deeper relationship. At times I wanted her to be happier than me but we have all got stuck on making decisions that don't make a lot of sense. I remember she wasn't too happy when I started dating Audra again and I wasn't too happy when she started hanging around her ex the street pharmacist again. But we grew older and wiser and found remarkable people who have changed our lives forever. I pray that she keeps focused on what is truly important and becomes the woman that she wants to be in life. But with all that said we can't hold each others hand anymore and walk through the trials of bad relationships anymore. Just as I have to let her grow up, I have to grow up too. She will aways be my baby cousin but I'm proud of her growing into a woman.

My eyes are burning

You know you're in love when you take your woman to work at three in the morning so she can be there by four and then you drive an hour back home so you can be at work by eight. My eyes burn from being so sleepy. But I wouldn't do this for anyone else. I really don't want her driving up and down the road that time of night or morning depending on your perspective. So I do what I gotta do. Oh well. Let me lock this office door so no one can see me take a nap.

For real. There is no punch line there, I'm about to take a nap.

Nothing goes as planned...

Nothing really goes the way we plan in life. Despite all your effort it just doesn't come out the way you in visioned. This time it was a beautiful. A series of unplanned happenings, changed minds, times, and plans turned out to be one of the best marriage proposals in the history of marriage proposals. It's funny how the whole time my stomach was spinning and my mind was stressed out to the point I actually yelled and the whole time I was buggin' out, God was in the midst. Long story short, I didn't get the box from Louis Vutton, my mom and Cousin Michelle got lost coming from Orlando, the one Delta I invited told the rest of her sisters and they all showed, Amber's mom and Aunt tried to get me to go first, and I wound of proposing in GOLDEN CORAL. Yes, Golden Coral. It was crazy. The worst kept secret still got kept.

I did get a box from Macy's, and for that box I got a silver heart shaped box from Things Remembered and on top was "Proverbs 18:22" which in The Bible reads "Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD."

I wasn't nervous about my decision because my feelings were validated by the Word of God. Now the words from my mouth, I was very nervous about until I sat down with that box that Amber thought contained a purse. Anyway, I got the people sitting behind us to back up and when I sat down the Holy Spirit moved on me and my mouth and the words came out smoother than Billy D. Williams cocoa butter. Everyone was in there crying but me, Mr. Alexander, and Dave. Even the young ladies at the next table who were not with our party were sobbing tears of joy. Just don't ask me to tell you what I said because I couldn't repeat it to save my life. I wasn't speaking, The Holy Spirit ran through my mouth from my heart. If it was all on me, I would have been shaking like a stripper in church. Either way, it was beautiful. Especially when she said YES. Well, actually she almost fainted then got so excited she started hyperventilating and tried to say yes all at the same time. Now that I think about that moment, it's kind of funny. She was bright red in the face and had a tight warm embrace around my neck as she kept saying yes. Either way, it went better than I could have imagined and we started the next chapter of our lives and our relationship in Golden Coral.

The things I've done

...I've often thought about the crazy things there is to do in life and whether good or bad I've done quite a few of them. Well, in two days I'm gonna do something that seems crazy to a lot of people...I'm going ask my girlfriend to marry me.

Let that one sit in for a minute.

Now for those of you that have known me for a while just take a second and think of the most outrageous stuff you've seen me do. I got at least 3 occasions that would make you wonder how I lived this long. But to be perfectly honest with you, I'm having the exhilarating rush I've heard about right before you jump of a plane. However, I'm not afraid. Now that doesn't mean I'm jumping out of a plane anytime soon or ever. But I've definitely got the willingness, the reason, the inspiration, the love, and the right woman to jump into this moment.

Anyway, I'm leaving tomorrow headed for Orlando. My mother is coming with me so that's why I have to keep it a secret. I told Amber when I do ask her to marry me I want at least my mom to be there since I want to do it in front of family. So if she knows my mom is coming then she will think something is up. Also, I am going to Louis Vuitton at the Mall of Millennium to pick up a purse box because I have her believing I got a a Louis Vuitton purse. By the way, please believe I would NEVER by a $1400 purse for a woman that is not my wife. But I know she won't complain about this engagement ring that is going to be in the box.

Now here is my problem. I'm not nervous about asking, but...I have no clue what I'm going to say. I'm not trying to force a special moment but I would like for it to be memorable. Something that we can tell our kids one day. However, today I have no clue. I'm gonna pray about it and leave it in God's hands.

So with that being said, I really need to get my things together and get ready to go. I got ten bucks that says we don't leave on time.

To Everyone I Love...

To everyone I love, this is dedicated to you all for 2008. It's a new year , a new focus, a new determination. I've done a lot of growing in the past couple of years and my only regret that I let some family leave this world without telling them how much I appreciate them, how much I love them, and what they mean to me. With that being said, let meaningless trivial drama go. Let things that don't matter go. Let past hurt go. Let past failure go. Let generational curses go. Let go of the things that don't make you a better person. Let go and let God. Let us focus on becoming closer to God. Let us strive to be all that God wants us to be and more. Let us focus on building a better life, a better church, a better home, a better family, a better you, a better us. I love you all. To my beautiful, intelligent, and talented girlfriend. I love you. 2008 is going to be better than it's ever been. My family, I will always be there and I will always need you and love you. My Freedom School brothers and sisters and my Freedom School students, I love you and know I will always be there for you. We have something inside so strong and it's not cake mix. lol. And to all my friends, even when you don't see me and you don't hear from me as often, always know that we are still friends and I'm always a phone call away. I love you all and I'm praying for you. So with that people, welcome to 2008...Let's get it!

Learning to trust...

Scars are constant reminder of a time in your life when we have endured some type of physical pain. Take for instance the scar over my right eye just below my eye brow. When I take a close look at it, I can practically relive the the pick up game after my work out and feel the pain of an out controller player as I went for a steal and we bumped heads. I can even hear the thumping sound in my head and and see the blood flow. Or every time I look at my left index finger and see the scar on the lower part of my finger, I remember how I got my finger caught between a door at the Biomedical library at South Alabama while moving medical journals for the new shelves to be installed on the first floor. A little FYI, I get a little faint at the sight of blood, especially my own. Anyway, I've figured out that emotional scars work about the same way. However, familiar events or behavior can trigger old feelings of hurt even when you are in a new situation. I didn't realize until tonight, how deeply I was hurt by my girlfriend when we broke up. However, it wasn't her fault I had these emotional scars to begin with. It was a past relationship that made an already private person become even more emotionally secluded and distant to any notion of love. I realized I've put some young ladies between then and now through some hell for those reasons. Letting people get close to me is a hard thing for me to do in this life. With so many people bouncing in and out of my life, I haven't been the one to trust many in my life time. I think what makes things worse for me is that when I finally do allow myself to trust or allow someone to get close to me is when for whatever reason they leave. And for me abandonment is a feeling that cuts deeper than any physical pain. The crazy thing is I know we are gonna have our ups and downs. We have had those moments already, but as much as I love you, care for you, need you, and want you, sometimes I can't help but to feel nervous. I could have everything in this world but a sense of peace in my heart with these trust issues would be better than silver and gold. I love you and I'm getting better each day as I grow as a young man, but most importantly as I grow as a Christian man. Please bear with me as these emotional scars continue to heal. I love you.

Making sense of it all...

There's a quote that's been stuck in my head for a few days now.

"It is when we are not afraid to fall that we fly the highest."

It's a moral that I should have taken away when I read, Johnathon Livingston Seagull for a class.

It's the same sentiment the Coach Carter-catapulted- Marianne Williamson quoted-Nelson Mandela credited- "Our Deepest Fear" speech holds.

But I like it better.

Once I accept that falling (and also failing) is an option, although not THE option....

maybe,

.....I can write again.
Without fear that words will fail/leave me. Write without fear that my words will betray me and show things I never meant to display.

...I can love again.
Without fear that I will give myself, my all to a woman who doesn't deserve it. Without fear that pain and love will once again become so synonymous, so intertwined that it takes me years to decipher between the two again.

....I can achieve.
Without fear that I won't perform up to my standard. The one I hold myself to. The ones others hold me to.

Maybe, just maybe....

When I quit looking down and remembering how the ground looks, I'll be able to appreciate the vastness of the sky.

Maybe when I realize that once it hurts, that's all it can do.

On this day

GOD grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change...

Courage to change the things I can and...

Wisdom to know the difference...

Amen.

BORED...

If there is one thing I could say about being a teacher, your day always has something going on. However, I'm not in that role anymore and working for the city can be very dull some days. I'm not mad, I'm just use to constant movement, plus its always cold in this building. None the less, the stress level is nice and low around here. I can't be mad, I'm just so bored. I guess thats my fault. I'm the one that likes to get all of my work out the way first and then relax. Anyway, this is the first entry I've done in the middle of the day in a long time, and even though my spirits have been in good cheer my mind continues to wonder on a subject that makes me smile and hurt at the same time. I know its just because I miss her, but I can't help it sometimes. I know everything will be good in the long run, I just can't help but to miss her touch. The way she leaned on me, or how good I felt when I held her. But I digress, I need my job so let me look like I'm doing something. I'll get into this later. Peace.

A good day

For the past couple of nights I've been real excited about this trip to see the game and then make my way to Atlanta to see my family. Since I'm working for the city now, I can't call in and get a sub. You just have to go when you're going. Truthfully, I'd rather go to Tampa this weekend. However, I made a promise to make it to the game. It was nice to see some people from South I haven't seen in a while and a couple of teammates from Bevill State I haven't seen in forever. It really took me back to see how far I've grown and reminded me on how much further I have left to go. The strangest thing is that everyone looks older than me. I know part of it is facial hair but some of my people look like time or stress took them outside and roughed them up a bit. Unfortunately, I didn't have enough time to make it all the way to Jasper. It would have been nice to see Coach Epps or Todd's mom who made the first tater tot casserole I ever had. I know Coach King who ran the dorm is gonna be a little ticked off I didn't make it down there when he hears I was that close by. It's hard to admit, I kinda missed the whole underclassmen college experience, even though I was a twenty year old freshman, life was pretty easy then. I didn't know much but the lessons learned on 1411 Indiana Avenue will stay with me forever. Anyway, I've been in Atlanta for about an hour now. I should have been here closer to midnight, but I had to stop my friend's apartment to see his new baby and then at by Cousin's house who conveniently lives around the corner from another friend of mine from college. I wasn't sure if I even needed to leave after the game because I was so sleepy. Actually, I was sleepy on the way up from home. If it wasn't for the Grace of God, that coffee, and Amber talking me on the way up, I would have stopped in Montgomery at my cousin Kim's house and picked it up in the morning. None the less, it was a good day. Even though it was extremely hot outside, it was a good day. Anyway, a lot of my cousins are going to meet up downtown. My favorite cousin and I are going to look in a jewelry store first before the rest of us get together. No, I'm not buying an engagement ring for Amber. We decided we needed to slow things down. Long story. Refer to previous entries if you want that background information. However, I do want to get her something that shows her how much I care. Well, that and to show her I'm not that tight with money. Lol. Seriously, I've never been the one to share my personal feelings or buy anything for anyone to let them know what I'm thinking, but for her I could. For her, I will. Even if I don't find what I'm looking for, the fact I would even go is saying a lot about me and my growth. Either way, her being in my life is a "good thing".

Well, I guess that's it for the night...morning. I need to get some running shoes while I'm downtown too. You know Friedman's is my spot, my shoe haven. Lol. Anyway, my eyes are getting heavy and I need to say my prayers because I'm truly thankful for this good day. Peace.

It's getting close to that time

It's getting closer to that time for Amber to go back to school. Of course I'm going to miss her but I'll be alright. I really appreciate her, and I'm truly blessed to have found her. Tonight we saw Rush Hour 3, it was funny but not the best one out of the series. The fact, I can just sit with her and watch tv or catch a movie and just relax is all that I really need. I actually like it when she puts her legs over mine and goes into her zone. I know we have been seeing too much of each other, but what's the summer compared to the next couple of semesters? Either way, her going back to school will be good for us. I know some nights I've visited even though I was tired and sleepy but I went because she asked. I like I have a hard time saying no to her. Being the type of young lady she is, I know she is only going to do things to help us. Plus, her mom and her Aunt can throw down in the kitchen, so it's always a plus to get up and go. Anyway, I'm excited about grad school. Going to Alabama State has crossed my mind again, however, I want to stay here and save some money to buy a house. I'm not saying I'm buying a house in Pensacola or I will, but when the time comes I want to be ready. Oh well, I need to be in the bed anyway. I have a lot to do tomorrow. Peace.

201

I don't think too many people our age have seen the movie "Wildcats" about a woman who takes over a inner city high school football team from Chicago. At one point in the movie the Coach challenges all of the players to an endurance run and if she stopped running before the last person stopped she would quit the team. Well, after discussing the benefits of excercise with the summer camp kids I gave them the same challenge except the winners would get lunch. Well, since we ran inside the gym around the basketball court everyone knew that 20 laps around is one mile. Honestly, in my head I figured after 60 laps more than 3/4 of the group would be gone, however, only half had finished. And even at 100 laps there was still about 15-20 kids. But at 176 laps there was six kids still moving with a good stride. Before I knew it I had to run 201 laps to win which is 10 miles. We ran for an hour and fourty-five minutes straight without stopping and my legs are wobbly even a few hours after the fact. Before today I had never run more than six miles straight without stopping. I guess you never know what you can do until you try. Right know I'm trying to figure out how those Africans win all those marathons. Not to be offensive but ten miles hurt, I can't imagine running twenty four. Anyway, I'm praying now to get through the night without leg cramps. Overall, this was an interesting experience. I'm not sure if I will do it again though. LOL. Peace.

You're still here...

You never know how your random acts of kindness will affect people. A simple gesture can become an instrument of building a bridge from isolation to acceptance. Or kind words to a stranger can motivate someone to change the world for better. For me, I had the first of the two thanks to two very special people who I met upon my permanent return to Florida. Damarius "D-Man" Collins and Anwar Lett probably will never know how much there kindness meant to me but if I could tell them thank you, I would. It's bad enough I was 5th grader trapped in an 9th grader's body and extra tall for my age, but to top it off I spoke with a serious west coast accent that for some strange reason was interpreted as "talking white" because that same accent came along with what we like to call "speaking proper." None the less, the first time I stepped out on the practice field for A & G no one would talk to me. Not even the guys from my class. But everyday D-Man went out of his way to jog with me, stretch with me, talk with me so I could understand this game I never played before called football. Since he was the quarterback he explained the terminology on both sides because I played both ways the entire season starting at defensive end and tight end. Anyway, I went on to be Defensive MVP but what we shared as friends went beyond football. Even through middle school when all of the guys from our crew went to regular middle school and I went to accelerated middle school, D-Man was one of the few who didn't turn their noses up at me, and when we got to high school together, nothing had changed. I always admired his service to the community as well. Every Saturday during baseball season D-Man walked to the ballpark and cut all of the kids hair for free. However, one Saturday in late Spring of 1995 he had a choice to make. After running across the street to grab a bite to eat from the corner store he turned to see his little brother who was a heavy set kid in the path of a speeding car. He dropped everything ran back out into the street and pushed his little brother out of the way. Unfortunately D-Man didn't make it. I remember riding my bike on the way to the park with a couple of my friends and being stopped and being told what had happened. The newspaper later confirmed the rumors that day. The driver was drunk and was doing nearly 80 in a 35. Before we could get home to have our parents take us to the hospital to see him. D-Man had passed on to a better place. I always heard these two things about his passing. One, to save his life they would have had to amputate both of his legs. If that was the case it would have been better for him to go because he loved to run around all the time and had just found out he was the projected starter on varsity at cornerback. The second rumor was, while his family was in shock and crying, with his last few breaths he was trying to calm his mother and family down. I heard he was saying "Mama it's ok. I'm gonna be alright." Even then he was a selfless individual, always giving back, always there to lend a hand. I still miss my homie to this day. At graduation I couldn't help but to think about him. He was my friend. I know he is physically gone but he is still here.

Just like my man my mellow Anwar Lett. If D-Man was my homeboy, Anwar was my big brother. He lived right down the street when I moved to East Hill. Even though he was older, he always looked out for me. When I got to that accelerated middle school, no one bothered me accept a couple of his knuckle head friends but they were cool to me for the most part too. The cool thing about it was, when my cousin Na-Na wasn't around he watched out for me. So when I got to high school, it was no different. I use to walk a lot but if he ever passed me on the street in his car he always turned around and asked me if I needed a ride. It didn't matter which way I was going either. He was even the one that kept me from getting beat up at school during freshmen beat up week. Even though later on he sent some guys to hassle some of us at the park as a joke. I'll never forget that, we were scared to death. lol. Anyway, he was my big homie. He is the reason why I look out for the little guys now, give them a little guidance. Anyway, before a game one Saturday night I was informed that on his way back from Tallahassee he fell asleep behind the wheel. He didn't make it. I took both passings hard, but not even death could take away our friendship or the respect I have for both of them. They may not be here physically but you're still here.