It's finally over.

Today marked the last final I will take as an undergrad. This should be a happy time but this is one of the most unceremonious days I've had in my life. However, I'm not upset about it at all, the situation got handled but it's too late to participate in walking and I'm so fed up that I just want out. My own mother did not participate in her graduation ceremony, why, maybe because she had an over-sized child who couldn't sit still or getting through the process was celebration enough for her. Me, I've just had it with this place. The only reason I'm still here is because my advisor didn't advise well, the classes I needed to get out on time weren't offered, and they tried to change actually they did change my bulletin, which is illegal in most cases. But without struggle there is no progress. Whatever. I can work more hours for T-Mobile and FEMA and save up now. Either way, I know my true focus is helping my mom get back into her home. I don't like her current contractor and personally I've grown impatient with his lack of effort. Anyway, my family is still acting strange after the Bahamas trip and more than likely I won't even bother to tell them I'm done with school. It's not like any of them came and visited or sent money, food, or supplies. I worked my butt off for everything I accomplished and when I couldn't hold it down, by the Grace of God he had mom come through for me. I really do appreciate that ma'am. :-) Inside joke. Anyway, I'm not feeling T-Mobile too much already but those pay checks make some of my days worth being there for the moment. This is temporary. Although, a part of me wishes I took that job at AIG. But to take it a step further I would like to stay in Pensacola 3-4 years. I've missed being at home, I've missed my mom, I've missed the beach, OK...and I missed looking at a full refrigerator of REAL food everyday. The last few months have been late night studying and eating at IHOP. Oh...The IHOP. How I shall miss thee. Anyway, enough is enough time to take that next step. Learning how to be an adult. College life was easy. But praise his Holy name, I'm out like a fat kid in dodge ball. You know the next step...all accomplishments, awards, plaques, certificates, etc, get one more glance and into a box. I don't like reflecting on past accomplishments, you can't look forward if you're always looking back. Time for the next goal on my list.

Today's announcements

The BluePrint:Version B.I.G. blog announcements

Today's announcements are being brought to you by the number one, the color black, the letter W, and today's phrase is "Stupid...dunky slutty bitches."

1. Yes I do still blog, and when I am not blogging, I am writting to re-type those blogs later. But remember I just got a new job and I am still trying to get adjusted to my time changes.

2. The #1...Remember, you only got one time to think you are gonna try me and disrespect me. I don't even care if you are my boss. Not my fault you job is on the line. One word: Relax.

3. The color black. I love black women, all of ya'll. But to the people on my job (who are non-black) who are well...lets just say unprofessional, black is the color of my ass. Kiss it.

4. The letter W, stands for wish. As in "I wish a nigga would..." Excuse me unprofessional people at my job who claim I am not part of the team, lets get this straight. I don't hang with you cause I don't do what you do. I could care less about who you all are screwing, and why you have a rash on your ass, but most importantly I don't smoke. So I wish you would say something else about me behind my back, cause none of you all are loyal to each other, so I know what you say. Once I get my money, watch out.

5. Stupid slutty dinky bitches. No this not a knock on respect for women, but when you are a welll...you know. What I am amazed at that you know less than I do, we are sitting in training talking shyt and I found out the only 2 jobs you have ever had was a Budweiser girl and a Hooter's girl. Damn, shut up. You already look worn out and we know you are slutty. We know how you got your job. Refer to #2.

With that being said, I'll back date as much as possible this weekend. Holla at your boy.

We are family

5 pounds of shrimp for a big family dinner: $35
Renting a van and driving from Florida to Colorado for a wedding: $650
3 generations in one picture and no one talking shyt: Priceless

Dammit, they get on my nerves, but I love them.

Back row:

Uncle Sidney, Uncle Russell, Uncle Fred, Me

2nd row:

Carmen, Mom, Tonya, Michelle, Jo, Doug

3rd row:

Auntee Helen, Tiffany, Nicole

Very front:

Mamadear

7 dealy sins...FULL TIME JACK MOVE.

ANGER
1. who did you last get angry with? Ashley E. Yates
2. what is your weapon of choice? My baseball bat.
3. would you hit a member of the opposite sex? No.
4. how about of the same sex? If need be.
5. who was the last person who got really angry at you? I hope it was Ashley. JERK!
6. what is your pet peeve? Black girls that talk spit, then date white boys.
7. do you keep grudges, or can you let them go easily? Doesn't matter.

SLOTH
1. what is one thing you're supposed to do daily that you haven't done in a long time? Strecth.
2. what is the latest you've ever woken up? I've slept all day before.
3. who have you been meaning to contact, but haven't? Bianca
4. what is the last lame excuse you made? Ashley is just having a hard time.
5. have you ever watched an infomercial all the way through (one of the long ones...)? NO!
6. how many times did you hit the snooze button on your alarm clock today? 1

GLUTTONY
1. what is your overpriced yuppie beverage of choice? Rum Runners at TGI Fridays
2. meat eaters are?: Huh? Yeah. Whatever.
3. what is the greatest amount of alcohol you've had in one sitting/outing/event? Don't remember.
4. have you ever used a professional diet company? Oh hell no.
5. do you prefer sweets, salty foods or spicy foods? SPICY!

LUST
1. how many people have you seen completely naked (not counting movies/family)? I plead the "fif"
2. how many people have seen you completely naked (not counting physicians/family)? I plead the "fif"
3. have you ever caught yourself staring at the chest/crotch of a member of your gender of choice during a normal conversation? I plead the "fif"
4. what is your favorite body part on a person of your gender of choice? Entire body.
5. have you ever been made a proposition by a prostitute? No.
6. have you ever had to get tested for an std or pregnancy? Not me.
7. is love at first sight really lust? No.

GREED
1. how many credit cards do you own? 0
2. what's your guilty pleasure store? Lids, Fossil, S & K.
3. if you had $1 million, what would you do with it? Figure how to flip it to 2. Then 2 to 4. So forth and so on.
4. would you rather be rich or famous? Rich. You'll be famous and living ther life.
5. would you accept a boring job if it meant you would make megabucks? Yep. Then pimp the game and stike out on my own.
6. have you ever stolen anything? A kiss. But she didn't mind.
7. how many mp3s are on your hard drive? Don't know.

PRIDE
1. what is one thing that you have done that you're most proud of? Believed in myself
2. what's one thing you've done that your parents are most proud of? Gone to college and suceed.
3. what thing would you like to accomplish in your life? To be a good husband and father.
4. do you get annoyed by coming in second place? YES
5. have you ever entered a contest of skill, knowing you were of much higher skill than all the other competitors? LOL. YEP!
6. have you ever cheated on something to get a higher score? Maybe.
7. what did you do today that you're proud of? I didn't curse Ashley out for calling me a bitch.

ENVY
1. what item (or person) of your friends would you most want to have for yourself? RJJ's bank account.
2. who would you want to go on "trading spaces" with? Jay-Z
3. if you could be anyone else in the world, who would you be? No one. But especially not that jerk Ashley.
4. have you ever been cheated on? No.
5. have you ever cheated? Nope. I wanted to though. Sorry Audra.

For the record...

For those who kept sending me messages on facebook, let's get this one thing straight. I am NOT a smoker. I got so many messages, I had to change the picture. People I hadn't heard from in a minute was getting at me about this picture. Look, I tried it one time a couple of years ago on a cruise to Mexico. They were selling Cuban cigars (Cohibas), which are illegal in the United States, and I wanted to try one. The end result..I got very sick. And yes, I smoked the whole thing. For the money I paid, I had no choice. Would I do it again? I tried this summer in the Bahamas. It didn't work out. I couldn't even get it lit. Even God didn't want me to have that cigar. No matter where I went, it wasn't happening. Oh well. But just to be let it be known, I'm not a smoker.

If this is

If this is the end, why doesn't it feel like it?

If this is the end, why are we closer now?

If this is the end, why don't we want to leave?

If this is the end, why does something wrong, feel so right?

Maybe, it's not an end. Just a new beginning for us.

End of an era

This is never how you want to remember our sport heroes. Hanging on too long, seeing them perform at a level that as fans we aren't use to. Seeing Micheal Jordan for two years in a Wizards uniform was hard to deal with. The lasting image of him taking that game winning shot in the last of his six championships is the image we care to remember. And yet tonight, we watched the Micheal Jordan of boxing maybe hanging on a couple of fights too many. It wasn't that long ago when Roy Jones Jr. made history by stepping up to the heavyweight division and taking a title from a much larger opponent in John Ruiz. Everything he fought for was maginfied in that unanimous 12 round decision. In retrospect, winning the heavy weight title was Jones Jr's lasting image. Cementing his title as the best pound for pound fighter ever. Essentially, being the best ever since Ali. However, just like MJ, Jones Jr. held on a little too long. When you have dominated 4 divisions (light, middle, light heavy, and heavy) and undefeated in those bouts, the only place from there is down. However, just like Jordan and Ali, as fans we ultimaltey don't care. Because forever in our hearts you are always the champ.

I first met Roy Jones Jr. as a young child while visiting my grandmother early in the summer of '88 before the Seoul, Korea Olympics. He was ultimately robbed of a gold medal, which is opponent said he lost the fight to Roy, but that let down fueled the next 17 years of dominance. Before the first Tarver loss, he was disqualified for hitting his opponent that took a knee during mid punch. That only enhanced his legend. But during those years and those divisions, it was an amazing thing to see. I remember "The Mission Continues" stickers and shirts in the early days when I moved to Pensacola. Jones Jr. made opponents look like mere sparing partners. Before HBO, those fights were at the Bayfront Auditorium. Then he moved to fights on ABC. But what impressed me the most, when he made the promise to make his first title defense at home. So when the time came he passed on millions and told HBO to meet him at the Pensacola Civic Center. The entire world tuned into to see the next great champion. Although the fight lasted only about 3 rounds. It felt good to see a home grown product, put his city on his back and start walking. And walk he did, through 4 divisions undefeated. His critcis would say that he didn't fight anyone. Sorry...he was just that much better than everyone else. He beat legends in Vinny P, and dominated a handful of eventual heavy weight champions, including James "Lights Out" Toney. Maybe even more impressive beating Montell Griffin with a broken hand.

But after 3 straight losses, it seems as the sun has set on aa brillant career. Even though he lost a 12 Round decision to Antonio Tarver, it was inspiring to see Roy give it one more try and walking away with a smile on his face. Two guys who literally hated each other since the day they met at 13, walked away with the up most respect for each other. Thanks Roy for representing our city so well, for so long. You'll always be The Champ to us.

A new start with a old twist.

Just like the title says, it's a new start. Over time, I going to reflect on the past and times in my life that I thought I was all too forgotten at this point. Also, I write because I want this to serve as a documentation for my children one day, and their kids. Something they can always have of me that can't be bought or sold. My life. My experiences. My trials. My victories. Oh, one more thing. To this day I have not shared this entire blog with anyone voluntarily. I would like to share this with her. I'm not sure who she is yet, but one day I want to say "Here is me. The good the bad and the ugly. I've grown/growing into a man of God. " I still pray to meet her one day. Hopefully, she and they will understand my thoughts and my life, and know that life has it's ups and downs, so enjoy life and make everyday your masterpiece.

Ev

Stop. No. Don't.

Some how telemarketers have made there way to my blog. Let me say this one time and one time only. Stop. No. Don't. I don't want to work at home. I don't want a once and a life time vacation. I don't want any business ideas. This is just a place for me to get my thoughts out. So before I report you...No I don't care about your porn site. No don't bookmark me and send it to your subscribers. If you do, I better see a pay check on the first. So just stop.

I got a question for you...

Let me ask you a question...

DO I LOOK LIKE A GIVE A SHYT ABOUT WHAT YOU THINK?

Before you go on reporting on my life, get your facts straight, so hopefully your thoughts can be a little more in depth, rather than surface irrational emotional rants about subjects that either don't concern you, or you don't have full knowledge. But when you are ready to talk to me like and adult, holla at your boy.

A small reminder:

I told you when this happened back in June or July. So why is it a surprise now?

$$$

I got hired at T-Mobile today. It's time to do the get money dance. YEAH!

WHAT?

OKAY?

And cut.

Deep breath. I think I'm gonna keep this one for a minute. T-Mobile, get more out of life...bitches!

I PLEAD THE "FIF"!

10 Years Ago-I was a rock head freshmen in high school. Wait, I just finished that year, and the summer was good. I had this cute little girlfriend named Donecia LaChe' Coker a.k.a. Che' a.k.a. #3. Everything seemed kind right with the world. Although I was till getting use to living in the "Da Hood", everything seemed alright.

5 Years Ago-The first year of college. Bevill St gave me a basketball scholarship. For what it was worth, the experience of being away from home was the best. It was the first time and some of the best times. The road trips, the practices, the games, the free clothes, the free shoes, and the free food.

1 Year Ago-FREEDOM SCHOOL! I can and must make a difference.

Yesterday-Watched the Florida St.-Miami football game. It wasn't quit the classic we are use to seeing. But it was a game none the less. Miami missed the field goal this time.

Today-No comment.

Tomorrow-Trying to figure out how to get to where I want to be.

5 Snacks I enjoy-Snickers, Mangos, Popcorn, Checker Fries, Kenisha and Penelope.

5 bands that I know the lyrics to most of their songs-Earth, Wind, and Fire, 112, Boys 2 Men, Maroon 5, and Aerosmith. (I'm lying about one of these, but which one?)

5 things I'd do with $100,000,000-Get far away from hurricanes as possible. Buy mom a house, take Kenisha shopping and out to dinner, pay off all my immediate family's debt, and open up a business.

5 Locations I'd like to run away to-Brazil, Paris, South Africa, Trinidad, Hong Kong

5 Bad habits I have-Biting my nails. Driving too fast. Forgetting to call back. Chewing ice. Misplacing my keys.

5 Things I like doing-Basketball, lifting weights, writing, chillin', reading.

5 Things I'd never wear-Anything Tommy Hilfiger, anymore Fubu, anything that looks like it came from the 70's or 80's, my clothes backwards, or those MC Hammer pants.

5 TV shows I like-PTI, King Of The Hill, WildnOut, The 2nite Show, MSNBC News.

5 Movies I like-Bad Boys 2, Hustle and Flow, Coming To America, Never Die Alone, Trading Places.

5 famous people I'd like to meet-Gabrielle Union, The Rock, Rihanna, Magic Johnson, Mariah Carey.

5 biggest joys at the moment-Waking up. My freedom. Traveling. My family when they not fussing. Late night trips to Krispy Kream or IHOP.

5 favorite toys-My cell phone. My computer. My Foreman grill. My solution basketball. My fossil watch.

5 people to tag-Hmmm, I think everyone has done this thing already. But I got some folks in mind fo' next time!

........

There are no words to describe what I am about to say. I considered not putting this in my blog, but I will anyway. Hmmmm....

Where do I start?

Okay. See what had happened was...And then. Well...So, it was like. And...

Let me start over. The job I came to Atlanta to interview for went well. Then by circumstances out of my control, so I'll be in town until Saturday. So of course Shon wanted to see me. I know we did some things that day, and went places and enjoyed each others company. We had a good time. It's just how the day ended.

Wow.

I didn't plan it. But I guess passion is never planned. Being with Shon is like being at home. You feel safe there, you feel loved there, and you feel like you belong. Everytime, we have been together, it feels right. So how could something wrong feel so right? Love? Lust? Passion? I think it's possible to have all of that for one person. However, something was extra special about this time. It was like our best on another level. I have no words to describe that moment. But I do know we have stamina. Wow.

Let me stop, thats her on the phone. I'm headed home on soon. I guess we'll do lunch after she gets her hair done, and then it's back to Florida. I guess no matter how complicated this ting gets, we still love each so much.

It's ya baby, baby.

Somebody finally said it!

The International Asshole at his finest...

“I hate the way they portray us in the media. You see a black family, it says, ‘They're looting.’ You see a white family, it says, ‘They're looking for food. It's been five days [waiting for federal help] because most of the people are black.” “And even for me to complain about it, I would be a hypocrite because I've tried to turn away from the TV because it's too hard to watch. I've even been shopping before even giving a donation, so now I'm calling my business manager right now to see what is the biggest amount I can give…the way America is set up to help the poor, the black people, the less well-off, as slow as possible. I mean, the Red Cross is doing everything they can. We already realize a lot of people that could help are at war right now, fighting another way -- and they've given them permission to go down and shoot us!”

[Mike Meyers reads his part]


Re-enter Kanye West:
"George Bush doesn't care about black people."

Thank you Kanye West, for saying on live national television what black people have known from jump. It's unfortunate that it took Hurricane Katrina and the aftermath to make some people realize it, but better late than never.

If nothing else, this catastrophe has made us realize how important it is to help our people, especially those less fortunate than us.

What if Natalie Holloway was black?

I'm never the one to crack jokes in the time of sorrow or tragedy, but since this thing has gone on for a minute with the missing white girl in Aruba, it brought me to this question. What if Natalie Holloway was black? Let's say she was still from Birmingham, and a outgoing high school senior. But instead of going to Huffan, a practically all white high school in the suburbs of Birmingham, but went to a school in West End or Ensley, where all the blacks folk stay. Could you imagine the that news story?

First of all they wouldn't have went to Aruba, this little girl would have come up missing over night from Six Flags, in Atlanta. Secondly, that search would have been over after the weekend. I'm just amazed they sent the FBI looking for this girl, and nobody went looking for 2pac's killers and they shot him on the Veags strip. There had to be 600 people standing outside of Circus Circus at the time. Nicole Holloway can't rap...I want justice.

Letter to the President

Dear President Bush,

How can I say this...um, you're fucking up. I rode by the gas station today and it was $2.59 a gallon. Let's just be real about this situation, I'm not made if you make that area the 51st state and call it Texaco. Just be honest about this thing. If gas hits 3 dollars a gallon, I'm getting a bike. I'm not worried about the moon, Mars, gays getting married (although it's gross), stem cells, it's these gas prices. Look, finish one thing at a time. We went to look for Bin Laden and most of the time we have been in Iraq. If we won the war, why are our troops still dying everyday? Here, I'll give you a chance to make this thing right. Give me Bin Laden on my front porch and I can deal with the gas. I'll beat his ass for you. I'll do him like the cops in NY, I got a plunger. Just do something. It's on you. One or the other, cause the more you mess up, the more you make Bill look like a genuis. A sex addict genuis, but a genuis non the less. I paid about a dollar a gallon when he was in office, there was no war, and no enemies would have ever thought about bringing the fight to us on our soil. Think about it for a minute. Oh, and another piece of advice, think that No Child Left Behind thing over again. You're screwing a lot of liitle kids over. Cool? Holla at cha' boy.

Ev

Dear Private Caller

Dear Private Caller,

I know who you are, and I know what you want. My problem with you is that you know what I look like, you know who I am, you know where I've been, where I go, it ain't hard to find me. So where in the hell do you get off leaving a message saying that I'm scared. Correct me if I'm wrong, but you're calling from a private number. Don't worry about it though...I got yours.
So in the mean time...

FUCK YOU!

Aiight? I mean don't take that personal, but leave me a better message. I have simple directions on my voicemail. Leave your name, number, and detailed message. So, I'll get to you when I feel like it, got me? Alright.

Sincerely,

Everett

They should have neva gave you niggas money!

Chappelle Show over? Grand opening, grand closing. Dayum, when Charlie Murphy comes out and says the show is over, then it must be over. 2 seasons and that dude became a legend. And who says weed doesn't ruin your life. It made Dave's nerves bad and he walked away from 50 million dollars. Losing all those endorsement. Though break nigga, there's always FUBU.

All The Classic Skits Chappelle Show

R.I.P

2003-2005

• '04 Racial Draft
• A Moment In The Life Of Lil' John
• Dateline-Black Blind White Supremist.
• The Mad Real World
• R. Kelly "Pee On You" Video
• Ask A Black Dude
• Black Bush
• R. Kelly "Pee On You" Video Remix
• White People Danicng
• Parody of Making Da Band 2
• Reporations '04
• Dave At Jury Duty
• Tyrone The Crackhead
• Trading Spouses
• KneeHigh Park
• The Player Hater's Ball
• Charlie Murphy's True Hollywood Stories (Rick James, Prince)
• I Know Black People
• The World Series Of Dice
• The 3 Daves
• The Nigga Family
• When Keeping It Real Goes Wrong
• Red Balls
• Ribs
• O'Dweeds
• Wac'Arnolds
• And1 Golf, Bowling, and Baseball

The countless memories and laughter. There are more skits that I loved but those just stick out to me. At least this time white folks didn't put a good black show off. He left on his own terms. Guess its back to Fresh Prince and Cosby reruns. Then again, there is always Bobby Brown.

Being Bobby Brown...For real?

Damn. The title says it all. I'm not sure which is more odd. The fact he has a show, or the the fact people are watching the show. I don't even have to get into the details of the relationship of Bobby Brown and Whitney Houston, but um...

Cocanie is a hell of a drug.

Anyway, it got me to thinking. Could I marry rich, to a seemingly succesful black female celebrity and have her take care of me. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Hmmmmmm. Okay.

But who? Hmmmm, Here is a list of women I think would work:

1. Ashanti

Pros: Rich. Great body. Could get a reality tv being with her. She is undercover ghetto.

Cons: Her sideburns are bigger than mine. She is undercover ghetto. And the possibility of being in the next 50 Cent diss song is VERY high.

Final analysis: Pass...

2. Lil Kim

Pros: ..........?

Cons: The possibility of being in the next 50 Cent diss song...very likely.

Final analysis: I wouldn't touch her with someone else's d***

3. Mariah Carey

Pros: Flithy rich. Sexy to the point of who cares what 50 Cent would say.

Cons: She might be crazy for real.

Final analysis: Who cares what you think? I get a shot at her, you may never see me again. Only one woman can keep me away from here. You know who you are.

4. Destiny's Child (Yes, all 3 of them.)

Pros: Not enough time in the world for that one.

Cons: N/A

Final analysis: It's nice to dream.

So what have we learned? Nothing. Bobby Brown has walked up on the deal of all deals. His wife pays his bills, child support, buys his crack, weed, alcohol, and tries to screw him every time she thinks about it. Look, Alicia Keys if you ever flip out, I'm here for you. I don't do drugs and I have no kids. But I do like like some hen or rum and coke from time to time. I can pay my own bills too. But I will ask for a new car. And best of all, you can get my booty anytime you think about it. Especially if you're gonna pay for it like Whitney does for her husband. Cause I guess it's a good thing being Bobby Brown...for real? But he needs to get his teeth fixed. lol!

Just a question

On my way back from the movies I stopped to get some gas to avoid having to do it in the morning. Once I pumped and went into to pay I realized that beer 32 ounce was 99 cents and the same size of bottled water was $1.49. Hmmmm. Is it just me, but shouldn't water be less than beer? You gotta do stuff to beer. It takes time and effort to put that together. Water runs through a couple of filters and thats it. So whouldn't water be 99 cents and the beer be $1.49? Just a thought.

Just my thoughts...

I wonder how many people would continue to talk to me if they knew what was going on in my head. I'm an only child and an aries so your mind can have some of the most interesting thoughts, but I think others would find me disturbed. But I need to know the answers to these questions:

1. If a turtle has no shell, is a homeless or naked?
2. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
3. If buttered toast always lands buttered side down and a cat always lands on its feet, what would happen if you tied a piece of buttered toast on the back of a cat and dropped it?
4. Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called shipment but when you transport something by ship it's called cargo?
5. When and where do you throw away a trashcan?
6. If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
7. Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?
8. What's another word for thesaurus?
9. When identical twins get into an arguement, why is one the first things they call each other is ugly?
10. Why is the word abbreviation so long?
11. Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
12. Why are there interstates in Hawaii?
13. Why is brassiere singular and panties plural?
14. If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?
15. Why does Porky Pig wear a towel around his waist after a shower, and then remove the towel and put on a shirt with no pants?

I need help.

I bet you won't get crunk

This is going to be the last blog of the week, because it is time head to Tennessee for National Trainning. Children's Defense Fund has a lot of work for us in this week's time, but for all the people you meet and the experiences that you have, the week flies by so quickly. I remember last year was a mess. Getting up at 5:30 a.m., working on projects, studying, and flirting till' 2 in the morning. But most importantly, all the FREE food. Praise his name. I shouldn't trip to heard though about the flirting All I really did was smile, cause every night I found my way to my room to talk to Kenisha for an hour or so. I know we fell asleep on the phone a couple of times, but this time it won't be as much time to talk though. I got word that a lot has changed, so I'm not sure what to expect. And a few people that I was cool with, may not return this year. So I'm not sure if I'm excited. I rember last year being nervous as hell though. I had no idea what to expect then. But this year we got 5 new ones and 5 old ones. Chirs is in the Air Force, Iggy is somewhere, Ralph and Reginald well lets leave that alone, and Jessica is doing Jessica. These new people seem to be cool though. I knew one of them before he even got there, so I don't feel like did last year at all. Well, I have to get my clothes ready. I still haven't fully packed. See ya in a week. IT'S YA BOY!

31

As a basketball player, coach, and a fan, I hope this blog comes across as many aspiring hoopstars as possible. Because tonight, the entire world watched one of the best shooting guards to ever play this game take his last shot tonight of his 18 year career with the Indiana Pacers. Reggie Miller was the last of the superstars of the 80's that made this game so exciting. At 6'7 and 190 lbs (on a full stomach and soaken wet) , Miller shot perfect text book jumper one right after another. He was the testament of fundamentals and determination. A lot of people and NBA fans will remember every breath taking shot that won a game, or scared the hell out of you, especially if you are a Knicks fan. But what I want the next generation of ball players to know about him, is his will to show up everyday, go hard, and make himself better againist all odds. I want them to take in the fact that on draft night when his name was called and not Steve Alford's, how the Pacer fans booed and cursed all night. How he played hard every night and didn't back down wether you were Kobe Bryant, Micheal Jordan, or Micheal Cooper. Or how he played every second of every game down to the buzzer as if it was his last. True fans of the game saw him score 11 points in 45 seconds in a game that they should have lost to the Knicks , but his will and desire was always there. So thanks Reggie for all the memories. There will never be another like you to grace the hardwood. For someone who was not even supposed to be good as his older sister, you were a hell of a ball player to be feared and respected. Hopefully, in your retirement you'll take Charles Barkley out to the gym and show him how you kept the weight off.

Musical Orgasims

If I hear one more so called love making cd full of R. Kelly, and songs that have nothing to do with love, I'm gonna scream. Lets get one thing clear, if your not in love then it's sex. Or fucking for those of you who care even less other than getting that nut and getting on to Waffle House. So here are a few simple rules, and a right and wrong way to make your cd. First, don't label your cd for the whole world to see. If thats your special someone then why the hell does everyone need to see shyt like "Babymaking, Get Da Draws, Caress My Body" on the outside. Thats a special time with a special person. Get a solid color cd that only you and the person know whats on it. Secondly, don't put songs on that cd that you would have to puyt on a condom just to listen too. If its thats serious, don't use any music and just curse and scream in each others ear. You'll get the same effect, I promise. Lastly, be creative, try remixes, extended mixes, artists that make good music but not be as popular (i.e. Van Hunt), and songs with substance. The lyrics in songs can be just as much of a turn-on as the music alone.

THE WRONG WAY:

1. Call Me-Too Short and Lil Kim
2. Look Into My Eyes-Some Misc. Nigga
3. Knocking Boots -H Town
4. Seems like You're Ready-R. Kelly
5. Freak Me Baby-Silk
6. Anywhere-112
7. Sexual Healing-Marvin Gaye
8. My Body-LSG
9. Between The Sheets-The Isley Brothers
10. I Know What You Want-Avant
11. Sex Me-R. Kelly
12. Anytime, Anyplace-Janet Jackson
13. Straight Fuckin'-Tyrese
14. The Greatest Sex-R. Kelly
15. Sex In The Kitchen-R. Kelly

Review:
#1,2-Thats just not good for any love making cd.
#3,4,5-These are on everyone's cd.
#7,9,12-Can't go worn with classics, but see above.
#6,8,10-Generic songs by groups who can do much better.
#11,13,14,15-These are not love songs, they are "I wanna f*** songs."

THE RIGHT WAY:

1. Beautiful-Tweet
2. Speechless-Beyonce
3. Adore-Prince
4. So Fine-Mint Condition
5. So High-John Legend
6. I Just Wanna Get Next To You-Christion
7. Lay Your Head On My Pillow-Toni, Tone, Tony
8. Can You Handle It?-Usher
9. Say Yes-Floetry
10. Sweet Love-112
11. Slowly (extended mix)-Tank ft. Jamie Foxx
12. Oooohh Aaaahhhh (remix)-Boyz II Men
13. I Just Wanna-Janet Jackson
14. April Showers-Dru Hill
15. I Love You-Lenny Williams

It's this one thing...

I'm getting a little ahead of myself in the list of confessions, but it's something about you. I can't quite understand it, nor do I know if it is for me to understand. It's just that 1 thing...

You...

*get on my nerves...
*are just as spoiled as me...
*always have to have your way...
*always have to have the last word...
*always swear you are so fly...
*scare me when you drive...
*are so stubborn at times...

You...
*get on my nerves, just so I can pick a fight with you, so we can "make up"...
*are just as spoiled as me, so you understand my way of thinking...
*always have to have your way, cause you help me see more than one point of veiw...
*always have to have the last word, and it's always how much you love me...
*always swear you're so fly, but you are, and I love it...
*scare me when you drive, but I trust you with my life...
*are so stubborn at times, because you expect nothing but the best from me...

"YOU" said it best, I adore your strengths, but I love your weakness. Cause it's in the times I want to be upset with you, the times I want to fuss with you, it's when I realize I love you the most. Everything about you, from top to bottom is so soulful. So much of me is you. So much of you is me. It's bad enough I can't stay mad at you longer than 20 minutes, but being mad at you is like being mad at myself. Because all is forgiven in the softness in your voice even before we embrace, and it is all forgotten once my lips touch your forehead as we hold one another. So today you get to have the last word...

#5

#5
One of my rules is never start a relationship with someone you meet in the club. But since I met you in the parking lot, technically you were outside of the club. My very first night out on the town found me in Atlanta GA, out with my cousin's nephew who was real cool. He actually saw you and your friends first, but when I eyes met, our introduction was the only one that mattered that night. I think we were a perfect pair at an imperfect time in our lives. You the pre-med student at Duke, me the aspiring athlete not sure what direction I wanted to go. But we both found our way through life, even though it was without each other. I'm glad that we stayed friends over the years even though I couldn't take you to your ball. I really wanted to be there, but thanks to #2, I got sick and couldn't make it. I hope whoever you choose to date or marry or whatever your case maybe, I hope he recognizes your inner beauty as well our physical being. Cause Lord knows your being is ooooooowheeeeee. With a body like that you know you can stop traffic. Wow. Let me quiet. Anyway, the best thing we both got out of this was a great friendship. Thanks for being there for me even in my hardtimes, especially when you had those feelings for me. I wish more young ladies were just like you. Matter of fact, if I have a daughter that turns out as half as well as you, then I will have done a great job as a father. I pray for nothing but the best for you, and know that you always have a friend in me.

America's Next Top Model? Uh...Okay.

So you never though about being a model, and all out of the someone say hey you have what it takes. You have that look. And if you're me, your only respone is, uh...okay. I mean I've heard people say that I should be in the field. Other models have told me that I said I should do it. But it never crossed my mind. I guess sports and music have been such a big part of my life that I have never gave it a second thought. Well, to make a long story short I did my first portfolio and shoot this week in North Carolina. It wasnt that bad. It was just the driving that I had to do that really bothered me. I'm so tired. So so tired. lol! Anyway. I've stopped in Atlanta for the day on my way back and I'm here with my cousin Tonya hanging out for the moment. I like her house, but I don't think I like Atlanta anymore. I'm here so much that I know my way around the city and the long drives are very short to me. I was all downtown chilling with some my friends of mine before I came to her house in Morrow. I know right. Those are worlds away, but it's nothing to drive anymore. I can handle the big city traffic too. I thought about doing an Uncle Fred and cross six lanes and hit an off ramp doing about twenty over the speed limit. Anyway, I'm tired and the NBA playoffs are on. So win or go home...

2 Things.

There is always a first and second option of things you would like to see or you would like to happen. So here is my Noah style depth chart of life.

2 people I wish would stoping singing:
a. Ashanti
b. Brittany Spears

2 people who need to be bitched slapped:
a. Kobe Bryant
b. Cassidy for the "Big" line in I'm a Hustla

2 people who need to come back and make a album:
a. Lauryn Hill
b. Jodeci

2 people who don't need to make anymore albums:
a. Bow Wow
b. Tupac (You got too many for me to buy. You ain't dead nigga!)

2 people who need to be drug out into the street and shot:
a. The record executive that convinced Akon to sing "I'm so lonely"
b. The director that convinced Carmelo Anthony's fat ass to take off his shirt in that "Got Milk commercial. Playboy, you can afford a 4 k diamond engagment ring, but you can't buy an ab machine? Bowflex? Something?

2 reasons you wish Bush was out of office:
a. The gas prices
b. Don't you miss Clinton too? 6 years and no drama. We gonna get GW some hoes.

2 people who are sexy and talented and don't get enough credit:
a. Sanaa Lathan
b. Jaquie Reid

2 people I don't care if I ever see them on TV again:
a. Jessica Simpson
b. Ashlee Simpson

2 people that need to pay their child support:
a. Every nigga in the NFL
b. Every nigga in the NBA

2 people we all admire but you had to laugh at their ass when they got caught up:
a. Micheal Vick
b. Ron Mexico (Oh shyt! That's Micheal Vick too.)
~If the NFL can sponsor Cialis, they can do Valtrex too.~

2 people who make too much money and need to shut the f*** up:
a. Terrell Owens
b. Latrell Spreewell

2 people who need to stop denying that don't use drugs:
a. Faith Evans
b. Mark McQuire

2 extremely overrarted DJ's:
a. DJ Clue (I wouldn't let that nigga mix my pancake batter, let alone my cd.)
b. Funkmaster Flex (lost respect when you dissed Nelly, then rode his nuts when he hit big.)

2 reasons we all regret not going to an HBCU's:
a. That special day when you decide you dislike all white people. (except Jessica Alba)
b. your 2.5 gpa you struggled to get, when it it would be a 3.25 or better with the HBCU care and support you don't get at White Folks University.

2 people who can get it from me today:
a. Amerie
b. Gabrille Union

2 people who wish Johnny Cochran wasn't dead:
a. Micheal Jackson
b. R. Kelly

2 people who are going to jail real soon:
a. Micheal Jackson
b. R. Kelly

2 white people I'd just love to slap if I got the chance:
a. Bill O'Reilly
b. Jessica Alba, but on the ass

2 reasons to stay up and watch Uncut:
a. Tip Drill
b. Disco Inferno

2 reasons they should pay college athletes:
a. They're getting money under the table anyway.
b. They not learning, so you might as well pay them.

2 reasons they need to hurry up with season 3 of Chapelle Show:
a. I've watched season 1 one DVD too many times
b. I've sean everything on season 2 over and over agin on tv

2 couples that need to get a divorce:
a. Bobby and Whitney
b. Bobby and his pipe

2 cell phone companies who's bills look like car notes:
a. Cingular
b. Verizon

2 people always overdressed for every occassion:
a. Ghostface Killa
b. Steve Harvey

2 preachers who look like they still hang out in the club:
a. Creflo Dollar
b. Casey Price Jr.

2 people I'd love to hit with a bottle for being lame:
a. Mr. Fonsworth Bently
b. AJ

2 of the best girlfriends I've had so far:
a. Kenisha
b. Elizabeth

2 clothing times that never get old:
a. Air Force 1's
b. Air Jordans

2 words:
I'm gone.

IRS and #4

Tax time has come and gone again, and of course I waited until the last minute. But this year it was not my intention to do so. I actually had everything together, with the execption of one W-2 form that needed to be reprinted. I figured I would have had it back by now, but somehow I let 2 motnhs slip by and didn't get it done until today. How? I have no idea. But a refund is due and the money can be used for a lot of different things going on right now. Anyway, as I was looking aat my W-2 forms, I realized one of these jobs snacthed about 6 c-notes about my check. And that was just a summer job. I felt like I was 16 and getting my first check...Who the hell is FICA? And why didn't he ask to get for the money? And social security? Why am I giving money to that? Because at our current stae in America it won't exist by the time I retire to get it. Can I just pick an old person at random and give them the money myself? Better yet, let me just give it to my grandmother and cut out the middle man. You know some of this money is burned up in administration anyway. Oh well. The gub'ment has pulled that Rick James on my check again...

~I'm Uncle Sam bitch...show me your titty's!~

In my continuation of my series of confessions of things, keep in mind that the first handful of people are ex-girlfriends, and as I write, I realize there are some people in my life I should have just cussed out. Now with that being said, I present number...

4. You fake, over sensitive, pretenious, over emotional drama queen. But I mean that in a nice way. I hate that so many people percieved you as something special. What was so impressive about that is made #3 guzzle hater aid, and every young nigga jealous of me. I trully don't get it. But I will give you the fact that you were very supportive of my athletic endeavors...but, then there was your jealousy, your nagging, your tendancy to start fights. But it was so funny set against the back drop that everyone thought you were so perfect. Ha. I'm glad Ms. D put me on game and kept me safe from your tirads. So sad that you were that cute and that dangerous. Whats even funnier that your father threatned to put me in jail if I put my hands on you during prom. Let the truth be told, he should have threw you under the jail. At your pace we barely made it to dinner that night. This one I can trully walk away and say this one had nothing to do with me. 2 words..seek help.

#3

~Born sinner. Consistent award winner. Ballin' repeatedly. Highlights on Sports Center. Cause in my life there is only one rule...

I will not lose.~

3. I thought it would be nice to mention, since above all else you were the very first offical girlfriend. I guess your presence explains this thing about me an older women. Why lie? You were cool, well, until you started flippin' out and going through your "I'm a rebel and a preacher's kid phase wildn' out phase" that caused you to try and drag me down that path with you. Sorry, if you had tried it during my first or second year of college then I might have joined you. But we grew up and apart from one another. No big deal. I'm glad that we still speak and you're happy, well appear to be happy in your marriage with ALL of your kids. And congratulations that someone took your crown as the craziest girlfriend ever. You got to see that first hand. I wish you would have told me earlier. Oh...wait. It's another Usher confession time...When you tried to get my booty, I didn't want to cause you were under the impression you would be my first. And I kinda felt bad. Sorry. But while you were trying to be so fast, you didn't give me the chance to tell you I had done that before. It was a nice try though. I can't believe I made it out of high school still a virgin though, for the simple fact I dated you. Crazy. But then again, I had a year and a summer to get my act together and while you was trying to put whip cream on me, I had already been to the Candy Shop, whoooooaaaa. Oh well. I can't say much bad about you. It was a matter of too much too soon. But we were always fly together and the center of everyone's attention. Hopefully, one day everyone will give up the notion of us getting back together. I mean it's been 6, maybe 7 years now, and you have been married for 5, the number of years I've been in college. Holla at the kid, who grew up into one fly young man.

#2

OKAY! I'm reloaded!

2. The sad thing is that #1 is everything you could never be. Damn, you got on my nerves. How we stayed together for 5 years is a mystery. When you would do and say stupid things I would want to cuss your mother out and ask her what did she tell you over the years that made you so stupid. I don't believe in hitting a woman, but when we got back together when I moved closer to home and you admitted trying to get pregnant by me to keep me, I wanted to shake the hell out of you. But hey, I'm not violent. I think when you spread those rumors about me hitting you and the rumors turned into bold face lies and you did nothing in my defense to get them under control, I was out. My heart was gone over a year before I left the relationship. Think about it. I was so out done with you at times, that I did thinks way out of character. Namely, I almost cheated on you.Yes, and that shyt was gonna be good too. Cause for the first time in two years, I felt appreciated. She understood that a relationship is a give and take situation and not sit around and kiss your ass deal. However, she didn't understand don't call me at 3 in the morning and ask silly questions like what are you doing? She was my superhero for the moment and ultimately brought me to an understanding that you are not the one. Well, I knew that already. It just sounds so much better when it comes from the mouth of someone supportive. In the end, I'm greatful for one thing from you, like the jerhi curl you are...gone.

So Far Away

If heaven was a mile away
I would probably get lost on the way there
I would take a wrong turn ...or two...or three
Making lefts that should be right
and although they say three lefts end up right anyway
I'd still be lost because by then the sun would have gone down
and I would have to squint to see the signs
and even if I pulled over to fill up
and God told me which way to go
and that my destination was only a mile down the road
I'd probably get too cocky
gun the gas and hit 100 on the way there
passing heaven by while singing along to Tupac's "Keep Your Head Up"
and wondering why a mile and Heaven seems so far away.

I was feeling it, but...

Simply put. I was feeling that Cassidy song "I'm a hustla" when it first came out. Of course me being me, I didn't listen to it all the way through or I blanked out when my phone rang. But unlike everything I was feeling this the first time I heard it. Usually I don't like many things the first time they are introduced to me. That includes people. So so sad...Anyway, I was like okay Swiss Beatz brought it hard on this one. Then last week the video came on MTVU and I gave it another go. And once I again I was feeling it...BUT...this negro says in a line "I'm the best thing since BIG died." Whoa.

(flag on the play! Offical turns on microphone.)

-We have illegal Biggie reference on a hot track.
-We have trying to be hard after doing love songs with R. Kelly
-a wack ass remix to a Jay-Z joint.
-and we have not knowing your place in the game.
-Thats 15 yards and loss of down on the play.

Best thing since BIG died? Quick list:
Rappers better than Cassidy since BIG died...
Jadakiss
The entire ROC family
Lil' Wayne
Ludacris
Trickdaddy
The entire G-Unit
Nelly
Eminem
Murphy Lee
Juvenille
Styles P
2 of those cats from making the band 2
Outkast
do I need to go any further?

Get it together play boy! I was feeling until then. No platinum records, no major air play, no grammies. Hell, not even a Source award. I hope your next single is banking cause you killed this one for me.

What does you d.o.b. say about you?

Your Birthdate: April 1

Your birthday suggests that are executive ability and leadership qualities in your makeup.A birthday on day 1 of any month gives a measure of will power and self-confidence, and very often a rather original approach.This 1 energy may diminish your ability and desire to handle details, preferring instead to paint with a broad brush.You may be sensitive, but your feelings stay rather repressed.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Here comes the rain...

This is one of the ugliest nights of weather that I've seen since I've been in Mobile. I wanted to go out and get chinese food but there is no logical reason anyone should be outdoors right now. Anyway, the weather has me in bit of a funk. I should be happy because tomorrow is my birthday. So I guess HAPPY BIRTHDAY to me. Doesn't feel like a great time in my life right now, but I'm making it one day at a time right now. And this feeling and this time soon shall pass. Sooner or later it will be a brighter day. Peace.

Yeah ask me...

I'm not sure if I want to comment on this basketball game or Ms. Ashely's blog. Either way I was kinda thrown of by both. Ashley I'm not mad at though. I just don't want to be a Bentley. One, they are too slow. Two, every where I go I see one these days. I want to be special let me be a E Class 745 or 760i. Those are hard to get too. Anyway, mami I told you what has happened and I feel very confident in my decision. I have a lot more going on in my life to be hanging around a situation like that one. I've been trying to tell you for a minute, but I guess you and the other random negroes on your roster have been getting close. Hey, I'm not mad. Honestly, I got kinda jealous too, but I was coming for you one way or the other. So it's not a factor. Other than that, both of us need to drop the pride and the attitudes. I don't know where it came from but it needs to go back. It was never a part of what we have and I don't intend on it ever being that way. Get at me when you have the time.

Basketball....
Dammit I quit. Naw, I'm just playing. Tonight was one of my worse games ever, not cause I played bad. Cause I played and could never really get into the flow of the game. I know I'm there to teach some high schools kids, but I like to teach by example. But what trully amazed me that our coach had the nerve to critize me after the game. I'm like ummmmm...I can't be a shooting guard only getting two shots. Now ask me why that happened? I'll tell you. Don't force a kid to play a postion that he is not comfortable with or he hasn't shown in practice that he can play effectively. If I'm your go to player then let me be that. If I'm your point guard (which I was last year) then let me do that. You're holding me back, which is holding the team back. I can score 20 easy, but I can't do it on two shots. I'm not J.J. Reddick, but I ain't Ben Wallace neither. I'm so use to having the ball and creating for others and now he changes the game plan and fusses afterward. Look at the stats last year, I score 20 or more we went undefeated. And scoring 20 in this league is hard. I score less than 15 and we are below .500. Do the math.

Back to Ashley:
See...if you were at the game I could have played better. Just playing. Nothing would have helped tonight. Anyway, let me stop crying about and get on some food.

Ask about me?

This is my first official post here. I like it so far. A lot of different things I can do and say here that I couldn't on livejournal.com. Plus Ashley is over here to so I gotta get back into the swing of things working on my writting. I'm definelty going to go back and post some of the old ones from the other site and let people catch up on where my life is at this moment. Anyway, life is pretty good right now. Not much I can complain about. Well Shon maybe leaving soon, but it remains to be seen. I hope she does not go, but that is another story for another day. As for me, hey...ask about me. This is definetly a time in my life when you see tragedy to triumph come full circle. And this show has even gotten started yet. I can't believe all of the opportunities I have in front of me. I think the next two years are real important as in making the right decisions and setting the tone for the next 5 to 10 years. I want to start this thing right, ya know. But who knows. Its in God's hands and he hasn't failed me yet. Honestly, I'm more worried about letting myself down. Better yet, I just worry to much. So here it is from me to you. My life, my world, my way. No time like the present to go for yours. So this time I'm taking what belongs to me rather than being the nice guy and waiting and being patient. The young man the world has been afraid of is almost ready to make his debut. Lights out...

Huh?

Sometimes I do way too much and I have to wind up taping shows. But I have no idea how long ago this was when I taped Chappelle Show, and in the midst of trying to catch up they had this episode with Snoop Dogg and Bishop Don "Magic" Juan. Now I wasn't surprised they were doing a sketch high. I wasn't surprised that their essays on "What America Means To Me" had nothing to do with with America, mind you there are high as hell, but I fell out when Snoop ended his essay on this note:

"Church. Tabernacle. Titty 1, Titty 2. Prophet Eli. My mental gymnatics will flip you like an Anja Mama flapjack...Now how bout' that?"

Wow...

Where you at?

Of all my friends in the world, one of the easiet ones to talk to is Ashley. She is such a sweetheart, but just like any friendship/relationship in life, distractions come about and people fall apart. This is one friend I trully don't want to lose because of life's hustle. I wish I had time to just shoot the breeze with her, cause she is just that cool, but we shall see exactly where I stand by the summer. I think I am fading to the back of her mind cause in the last few weeks of her journal entries my name is no where to be found. Hmmmm. I wonder what nappy head dude has her attention these days. Anyway, if that is the case or not she is still a good friend, hopefully I'll hear from her soon...

mood:amused

As you can see it has been days upon days missing from my journal, but if you can keep up you know why. Today is a pretty descent day. So I'm not going to complain about anything. I'm hanging in there with this school thing which is turning out to be the longest 5 years of my life. Well officially 5 this summer. I figure by the time I graduate I will have 150 credits and they still might not let me leave. Anyway, I guess everything else is good. So what more can I say? Oh yeah...what a poor attempt to blow Shon off like she isn't in the back of my mind. She called Thursday morning right after my first class going on about how much she misses me and she dreams aboout me every night. Now what makes this conversation odd is the fact that she is on her honeymoon in the...Uh...I can't spell, but I think it is Poconose. (Speak and spell) Yeah. Anyway, too make the conversation even more interesting lets throw in the segment of the conversation:

Shon: I really wanted to hear your voice...
Me: Really? Why is that?
Shon: Cause I miss you and I dream about you every night.

(Pause) You're dreaming about another man while you're on your honey moon. Uh. Okay... (Play)

Me: Hmmmmm....Should I ask?
Shon: I'll tell you now.
Me: Naw. Save it until you get back.
Shon: Uh...Okay. Yeah but it don't look good for home team.
Me: Who me?
Shon: No. Him.

(Pause) Two thoughts here. One, wouldn't it be great if we could TIVO life? Two, does this sound like someone who should have gotten married at all or just to this guy? Uh...Okay. (Play)

Me: Why you say that?
Shon: Well...
Me: Nevermind. Save it until you get back. And aren't you using his phone to call me?
Shon: Yeah. I hope he doesn't scan over his phone bill.
Me: Ya think?Shon: Well, I gotta get out of the car, we are headed to Florida.
Me: I don't want to know that.
Shon: No. I want you to know everything.
Me: Uh...yeah. Shon: Okay?
Me: I guess?
Shon: Well I need to go. I'll see you in a couple of days. I miss you.
Me: Huh?
Shon: I said I miss you. Now I have to go. Okay? I'll see you when I get back.
Me: Huh?
Shon: Bye boy...
Me: Huh?
Shon: Say bye.
Me: Oh. Uh...bye.

So...would anyone like to comment on the fact that she called me on her honeymoon several times and has been thinking of me? Anybody? You? How about you in the back? Up front? Yes you ma'am...
Young lady: Well I think...
Me: (Rock like voice) IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT TOU THINK!

LOL! I'm just playing cause you know the whole idea of this all went straight to my head. Yeah, I'm officially big sexy and can't nobody tell me different for the next 72 hours. Holla at cha boy. Peace.

You don't have to...

Mood:confused

If I know what to say, or if I knew what to feel. I would say it right now. But I trully don't know what to think at this moment...Shon, is getting married today to a man that she cares about, but is not in love with. Who is she in love with? She is in love with me. Well, we met up at the park around 2:00 a.m., and what was supposed to be a 20 minute meeting or chill time, turned into an 2 hour emotional scence straight out of a Oscar winning movie. Hmmmmmm. Would I ever marry anyone cause that is what everyone expected me to do, even though in my heart of heart's I'm in love with someone else? I don't know. But a lady in the cafe that is really cool with me, told me that she was in the exact same situation many years ago and has been unhappy since. She is still married and in love with another man from nearly 20 years ago. So why does this even happen. In the end, today I feel...

alone, lost, and hurt.

This is easily the worst day of my life.

Text messages

I got a text message that says:

Just wanted 2 let you know you know that I have carpet burns on my butt.

Wow. Do I need to get into detail on this one. Sometimes passion just takes you away right were you stand. Or where you sit. Or where you fall down in this case. Love is a hell of a drug.

Lord help me...

If there was any other time that I needed guidance, then it is trully now. With all that I have been through since I stepped on this campus two years ago, I am trully frustrated. However, I won't give up. I have faith in you Lord and whatever reason you have me here, please give me the strength to endure and overcome. I can't do this alone and forgive me for ever trying. It's because of you, that I am here, it's because of you, I am who I am. For that I am trully greatful and I put none before you. Please show me the way and I will follow...