Nice day to relax

HA! I got my Kanye West cd too! We spent an interesting day together. We played cards, watched movies, talked, and enjoyed each other's company. I guess I should still be mad, but I won't waste the time today. I was kinda surprised when she bought me the cd though. Either way it was nice to have a day to relax.

So she got her court date...

I know right. I have got to working on this saying no thing. I needed a quiet place to study so I went to the library. Top floor middle table, by the window. No one is ever up there. Anyway, to my surprise she showed up. I figured it would have been too cold for her to come out that day. But please believe I was about to be the ultimate jerk about it all. She walked around for a minute looking through the books while I finished writing a paper for class. Then she sat down to talk. Honestly, I felt a little uncomfortable with myself at the moment. I just kept thinking about how she handle things, and that I was even allowing her the opportunity to even speak to me. Maybe she doesn't know how I hard I took it, but despite her reasons at the moment, the whole thing at very least was fucked up. Anyway, here we are and here we go out the door. She took me to the park. By the way, which is against the law in Mobile County to be in a public park after sunset. Well, we parked, walked for a minute, and then sat down on a bench. I didn't let her get close to me or look me in the eye. But as she explained what happened, I got a little more up tight and was really ready to go. I don't think she understands, these things aren't supposed to happen to me, but thats why we are human. It happens. However, I warmed up in the conversation when she told me this is where she would come to think about me. The countless afternoons when she wanted to see me, talk to me, be with me. I was kinda flattered. But it didn't change how I felt. I just listened...

But when we got in the car, I fired off my mouth like a cold hearted bully. For the first time I think I didn't show any compassion. Then again, I had made up in my mind stealing her food from Smokey Bones from the back seat and seeing what she had to say about it. I wound up giving it to Kirkland when we got back, cause I knew he was hungry, and I wanted Kenisha to say something crazy. Like I said, I was trying to be a jerk. Anyway, I'll see where it goes from here. I was surprised this night happened cause I wanted to be past this by now. Some how she kinda knows me. . So how did the night end? She told me loved me...Then she kissed me. She kissed me like she had been wanting to do that all night. Dang. Goodnight.

I got your court date

Well, the 2nd semester is underway. I'm kinda tired this morning. I've gotten some replies to a semester email I send out to my family and friends, and for the record I guess I wanted her to say something. But at this point, I don't care. But this was the reply:

Why can't you say my name? You don't have to say anything to me in an underlying manner. I understand that I made it this way, but I have apologized. I hope that you have forgiven me because it was sincere. Not just pretty people do ugly things, everyone does. I hope Moochiepie Face calls you Binky. If not, she doesn't see the stars in your eyes when she looks into them. Not trying to hate because I'm not jealous. I am where I need to be. Just thought you should know why I called you that. I'm prepared to make a court date in March because b-ball season will be over then. You let me know when. I hope life is grand for you. Take care!!!!

Nisha



LOL! First of all, who said I would make a "court date" with you. I didn't want to talk to you in January, and I don't want to talk to you now. My life doesn't stop, slow down, or even blink because you asked. It's not gonna happen. IF this conversation takes place, it will happen on my time and my terms. I guess the problem is that you are spoiled by all the guys who have been in your life doing exactly what you want. Come on, you should know better, it's not even an ego thing, but I don't get down like that. I'm not typical, so don't play me like I am. Do I sound frustated? I just want to close the door and lay down.

Let's be honest. I haven't slept in days, my work load is TOO much (15 credit hours and 3 jobs), my personal life in hot topic on campus, I'm tired, and to make it worse I've started drinking. I was hoping it would help me get to sleep. But it doesn't help that much. It's nothing heavy. Just a Smirnoff Ice, but drinking is not my style. God help me, I just need to sleep and have some me time. I don't know how to handle this situation is really bothering me. . So this is what I'm gonna do. Go to bed, sleep, or at least try, and remain calm. Thank you Lord for my struggles because I know you're molding me into something great. This too shall pass.

Growing In Grace (The Rated R version)

Ok. Let me lay down the basic pit falls of a young man trying to do right. I pray everyday for strentgh to make each day the best I can. The wisdom to make the best decisions for the long run. But most importantly to understand that his will, our mission, our goals are greater than me. I give an all out effort to be who I am and honor God. However, tempation is a true b****. Sorry. I really had no other word for what has been happening lately. I remember when this school year started off, I got a lot of attention. I'm use to it so no big deal. The was the case when I got to school here and that was the case last year cause people seem to gravitate to me even if I'm not comfortable with that all the time. But this year started off with slick come on lines, seductive flirting, and young ladies trying to get me a position so they can call me boo. But somewhere the heat has been turned up, severely. It doens't matter the color. There have been attempts to scoop me by all thirty one flavors. I was once told if Satan had you or you were on a border line he wasn't coming after you but me...I'm trying to hold to God's unchanging hand. However, at the same time, these women have been trying to rub on me with their hands. Earlier this week, I got a call at 3 a.m. in the morning and the young lady said..."I'm horny, I'm on my way, what are you going to do about it?" I'm thinking nothing cow. I'm going back to bed, ten minutes later she is at my door. I'm like dang, can a young man sleep? Fortunately for me, she was drunk too and after she used my bathroom she layed down on my couch and passed out. I put a blanket over her and took my butt to bed. I'm not that type of guy. Well, then there was this week in class. I'm not into white girls but this one is good looking. After class we were just discussing a few things and before I knew it she was telling me about how she liked me and hadn't said anything all year and that I could get it anytime I wanted. Now deep down inside I was tempted. Just for the fact my former teammates were running women in and out of the dorm like drugs. Thats another reason room 211 stayed locked 90% of the time. lol. It's true. I know I've made my mistakes this year but I don't want to continue with the same problem. However, the more I resist the more the pressure is applied. This one girl waited by my door one night and on my way up a homegirl mine told me she had been there for over an hour. Imagine my concern. But strangely enough, the reason why I was hour late getting back to my place was due to an SGA meeting where I was approached my this beautiful Idian girl who is an engineering student. Just my luck, she likes hip-hop and tall handsome black guys from Florida. :-l Yeah. Anyway, thats where I almost fell cause she is Angelina Jolie sexy. Her and her wavy black hair, my goodness. I need a cold shower. Oh wait, then one of our junior senators shows up at my door Saturday. Now that wasn't strange but when she came in, I thought it was just to say hi. She asks to see my goods. Then she says she would show me hers first and drops her pants in front, and yes she had nice legs. I couldn't anything but look in amazement, then excuse myself from my place. Oh, side note to that, this same young lady who dropped her pants in front of me, well her boyfriend is cheating her, and strangely enough, this young lady who I met not too long ago who claims to like me so much is sleeping with that guy. Uh...yeah. Reason number three I don't do the random sex thing: STD's. Haven't had them, don't need them, don't want them. Oh, and then there is the cute New Orleans girl who lives down stairs. Then the two volleyball girls and the one female basketball player who isn't gay, the two sororities who have a handfull they have tried, and countless others. (Shakes head) If I was a nasty dude I'd be all over this situation. I wish I was making this stuff up but it has gotten out of hand. I definetly don't want of this attention like this but it is what it is I guess. I just can't participate. Thank God for that gym cause I'd be in trouble right now. Matter of fact, let me stop pretending I'm doing my homework and get this young lady out of my room. She is watching a movie but we were supposed to go to dinner. I guess I should enjoy V-Day. She bought me a card and some candy. Nice. However, I don't feel for her what I felt for Kenisha, but I am enjoying my time and it's been cool getting to know her better. Hopefully, she isn't trying to get my booty tonight. I just can't go that route. I'm trying. Pray for me. Peace.