Ladies and gentleman, children of all ages, hustlers, ballers, ho's, cats, kittens, dogs, chickens, ducks, lobsters, salmon, lil' salmon, and negroes generally in my business. It is with a sadden heart that I must let you know that any thoughts or ideas of Audra and I working out, reconciling, whatever you want to call, well...it's not gonna happen. With a heavy heart, I politely said good bye and have a nice life to the girl I've been in a relationship for a nearly 5 years, maybe 6 years. Who knows? I stopped counting a while ago. Anyhow, I gracefully bowed out and I'm ready to move on with my life. So long to the way we use to be. For all other questions, don't call me. Continue to gossip and speculate. Goodnight.
Flipside
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Um...well, it didn't go that smooth, or that peaceful, or that nice. Well, it was ugly. I didn't know I could be so mean. I didn't know I could be so good at it either. So let me update you on the past year with Audra Lavern Hayes. We can even give it a movie title:
10 Things I Hate About Audra
1. I did not come to school to sit up here and look at you all day. Yeah, you're pretty, but you know me. I give you space. I'm not all up in your ass. I have a life too. Either, grow up or get your own Mr. Bently.
2. The Bid-Off. I told E that I would do it for him cause they were short on guys, and he helped me get adjusted around here. If it was let up to you, I'd sit in your room all day and sit up under you.
3. Jealousy. Not because other's of me. Never that. You of me. Sorry. It's not hard for me to make friends. If it wasn't for your looks, a lot of people wouldn't speak to you. You have the same shitty attitude your father, mother, and sister have. You're an elitist jackass, that doesn't realize she is just like everyone else. Just cause you and your family cant quote a few scriptures doesn't make you better than anyone.
4. You nag. ALL THE TIME.
5. Loyalty. As long as your butt isn't in the line of fire, you don't care about anyone but yourself. That's the 2nd biggest reason you don't have any friends.
6. This is not tv. It's life. It's not the Cosby Show, and it's not Girlfriends. But you and Mya have a lot in common. Essentially that gay nigga you've been hanging with is Stan. Honestly, you two deserve each other. But here is the thing, I don't care.
7. Do you have to involve the whole world in our business?
8. You nag. ALL THE F&^%$ING TIME.
9. You're a crybaby.
10. The preacher deal. This was the final draw. My heart was gone from this relationship pretty much in August. Not because you "thought" you were supposed to be a minister, but you let someone else tell you how to feel, about your life, and your relationship. So when I couldn't support you, it wasn't anything against your relationship with Christ. I encourage all to seek God and get to know him. It was the fact that Rev. Earthy Gaskins played you, I tried to warn you, you blew me off, and then when he tried to get your booty, you tried to come running back to me. I felt for you. But you've already killed my rep once, and wounded my pride. Time for you to go.
So, when she made that stupid comment, again, about this whole thing. I thought back to when I told you just after the AASA elections, I was out, and you helded me down and asked me to marry you. You were desperate then and you're pathetic now. It's sad hanging onto someone you love, but are not in love with. It's all my fault, I should have ended this thing way back in October. But I waited till now and called her: (clears thoart), Nevermind.
Hey, just use your imagination. I never cursed like that before in my life. I pray I don't ever get that angry again either. I guess I didn't have to say what I said about her mother. (shakes head) I meant it, but I didn't have to say it. Then I got out the car, and walked home from Wayside Park all the way home. That had to been 6-10 miles. And it was one of the best walks I ever had. I felt so free. I'm looking forward to this summer, and the next school year. I still don't have my song for this one, but I feel good.
Our first date: $80
Calling cards when I went away to college: $5 dollars a piece
Dating after you break up: $40 a date.
The first date after you all got back together: $60
Finally figuring out the difference of loving someone and being in love with someone, then deciding to be truly happy, rather than just okay with the situation, and throwing that bitch the deuces:
PRICELESS. 
For everything else...Who cares, I'm free!
